Worth It
There’s a good chance if you have talked to me in the last four months that you have heard me say, “There is probably a reason 19 year olds don’t own houses and run ministries” because in the last four months I have encountered many of those reasons.
I wish I could tell you all that I have flawlessly passed by every pushback, but I have some spiritual bumps and scratches to prove otherwise. ‘Stable’ is not a word I would use to describe the past months.
When Michael passed on the trailer he told me it was all about being physically present because how would anyone know I was there for them if I wasn’t, well, there? Initially, this advice made me excited because it was so seemingly simple. I was confident in my ability to do such an easy task.
As fellow inhabitants of this planet, I bet all would agree with me that life can be overwhelming. It is busy, and always harder than expected. So, of course, being present has turned out to be way more difficult than my initial thought.
My weeks need more days and my days need more hours. I spend more time working to live here that I’m actually not getting to live here. Frustration has been an understatement.
Also, the needs of this community are just so heavy. I pray continuously that God would reveal to me what those needs are. I pray for His eyes. I want to see things, people, situations the way He does. This is a tough prayer as it involves deep pain and deep love, because it’s dealings are much greater than anything I can fix on my own.
Is it worth it?
This past Sunday, I got my “worth it” moment. The moment that gave me the much needed encouragement to write another blog post, to say another prayer and to say hi to another neighbor.
It came in the testimony of a 15 year old girl who lives down the street.
A few weeks ago on her sponsored trip to Springhill with Kensington she threw up her hands and gave it all to Christ. She decided her precious life was no longer hers to hold onto, but her Heavenly Father’s to keep. Her fresh excitement and new joy continued as I dropped her back off at home after that weekend. God is alive and He is moving in the hearts of this community.
It gets better.
The following Sunday was a baptism service where she approached Alyssa and I asking if we would baptize her. We dunked her under that water and brought her back up a new creation. Suddenly, every extra hour I had to work in order to make lot rent, every day we were cold because we wanted to keep our heat bill down, every night I stayed up homesick wanting my old room back was worth it. It would be much easier for me to live at home, my mom has always provided me a loving, warm home and I often think of the comfort I would feel going back. But Jesus did not stay in the comfort of The Father’s home, no, He left because He knew what was to come would be worth it.
Ironically, I thank God because He doesn’t always let us see the “worth it” moments. It comes to having faith that they are happening when we can’t see them and patiently waiting for the day we meet Him face to face in hopes He will show us all our “worth it” moments. But until then all we can do is trust.
God allowed me to witness life change here in this physical life, and I’ve realized what an unnecessary, but kind privilege that was. I’ve also learned that when we can’t fix someone’s needs, it is okay. We are not the Fixer. But, we can pray with them, we can invite them to a service, we can share Jesus with them and “worth it” moments are the beautiful result of it all.
That is why we are here.
-Brooke